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DOCTOR 


A.  W.  PINERO'S  PLAYS. 

Uniformly  Bound  in  Stiff  Paper  Covers, 
Price,  50  cents  each. 


The  publication  of  the  plays  of  this  popular  author,  made  feasible  by  the  iiew 
Copyright  .\(;t,  under  which  his  valuable  stage  rights  can  be  fully  protected, 
enables  us  to  offer  to  amateur  actors  a  series  of  modern  pieces  of 'the  highest 
class,  allot  which  have  met  with  distinguished  succes:?  in  the  leading  Eu'glish 
and  American  theatres,  and  most  of  which  are  singularly  well  ada|»ted  for  ama- 
teur performance.  This  publication  was  originally  intended  for  the  benefit  of 
readers  only,  but  the  increasing  demand  for  the  plaj^s  for  acting  purposes  has 
far  outrun  their  merely  literary  success.  With  the  idea  of  placing  this  excel- 
lent series  within  the  reach  of  the  largest  possible  number  of  amateur  clubs,  we 
have  obtained  authority  to  offer  them  for  acting  purposes  at  an  author's  roy- 
alty of 

Ten  Dollars  for  Each  Performance. 

This  rate  does  not  apply  toprqfessional  performances,  for  which  terms  will  be 
made  known  on  application. 


THE  AMAZONS, 


A  Farcical  Romancein  Three  Acts.   Bv  Arthur 

W.  PiNERO.     Seven  male  and  five  female  char- 

'  acters.  Costumes,  modern;  scenery,  an  exterior 
and  an  interior,  not  at  all  difficult.  This  admirable  farce  is  too  well  known 
through  its  recent  performance  by  the  Lyceum  Theatre  Company,  New  York,  to 
need  description.  It  is  especially  recommended  to  yo\mg  ladies'  schools  and 
colleges.    (1895.) 


THE  CABINET  MINISTER, 


A  Farce  in  Four  Acts.  By 
Arthur  W.  Ptxeko.  Ten  male 
and  nine  female  characters. 
Costumes,  modern  society  ;  scenery,  three  interiors.  A  very  amusing  piece,  in- 
genious in  construction,  and  brilliant  iu  .dialogue.    (1892.) 


DANDY  DICK, 


A  Farce  in  Three  Acts.  By  Arthur  W.  Pixero. 
Seven  male,  four  female  char  vcters.  Costumes,  mod- 
ern ;  scenery,  two  interiors.  '  liis  very  amusing  piece 
was  another  success  in  the  New  York  and  Boston  thes  tres,  and  has  been  ex- 
tensively played  from  manuscript  by  amateurs,  for  whor  1  it  is  in  every  respect 
suited.  It  prov  ides  an  unusual  number  of  capital  charac  er  parts,  is  very  funny, 
and  an  excellent  acting  piece.    Plays  two  hours  and  a  hi  If.  "(1893.) 


THE  HOBBY  HORSE, 


A  Comedy  in  Three  Acts.  By  Arthur 
W.  PiNERO.  Ten  male,  five  female  char- 
acters. Scenerv,  two  interiors  and  an  ex- 
terior; costumes,  modern.  This  piece  is  best  known  in  tl  is  country  through  the 
admirable  performance  of  Mr.  John  Hare,  who  produced  it  in  all  the  principal 
cities.  Its  story  presents  a  clever  satire  of  false  pliilaicthroi»y,  and  is  full  of 
interest  and  humor.  Well  adapted  for  amateurs,  by  whom  it  has  been  success- 
fully acted.    Plays  two  hours  and  a  half.    (1892.) 


LADY  BOUNTIFUL, 


A  Play  in  Four  Acts.  By  Arthur  "W. 
PiNERO.  Eight  male  ind  seven  female  char- 
acters.    Costumes,  modern;    scenery,  fouf 

interiors,  not  easy.    A  play  of  powerful  sympathetic  interest,  a  little  sombre  in 

key,  but  not  unrelieved  by  humorous  touches.    (1892.) 


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15 


DR.  MCBEATEM 


^  Saxtt  in  ®uc  ^ct 


By  F.  E.!hILAND 

AUTHOR   OF   "ROONEY'S  RESTAURANT,"   "A  TOWN   MEETING,"   "BROKEN 
BONDS,"  "CARELESS   CUPID,"   "CAPTAIN  SWELL,"  ETC. 


BOSTON 


1899 


DR.  McBEATEM. 


CHARACTERS. 


Dennis  McBeatem,  a  soldier  of  fortune. 
Henry  Hardvp,  a  journalist. 
Sunflower,  his  servant. 
Tabitha  Goneby,  an  old  maid. 
Susan  Sweetbriar,  her  niece. 


COSTUMES. 

Dennis,  shabby  genteel, 
Hardup,  plain  clothes,  short  coat. 
Sunflower,  white  coat,  light  pants. 
Tabitha,  dark  dress,  black  bonnet,  ancient. 
Susan,  modern  summer  costume. 


Copyright  1899,  by  Walter  H.  Baker  &  Co. 


f; 


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1 

mm~^ 

Dr.  McBEATEM. 


HC4I 


SCENE  I. — Plain  interior.      Table  and  chairs.     Hardup  dis- 
covered  seated  near  table.     Sofa  R,  C. 

Hard.  Houie  at  last  after  a  six  weeks'  vacation  in  the 
country  !  I've  had  a  splendid  time,  but  my  uncle,  the  Jew,  will 
make  me  pay  roundly  for  it  when  I  come  to  settle  with  him. 
Now,  if  I  could  only  have  made  up  my  mind  to  have  married 
that  old  maid  I  met  up  there,  and  scooped  in  her  money,  I 
should  have  saved  myself  the  humiliation  of  being-  rlunned 
twenty  times  a  day  by  importunate  traders  and  grasping  tailors. 
But  I  couldn't  quite  g-o  the  old  lady.  On  the  contrary,  I  feel 
most  desperately  in  love  with  her  pretty  niece,  who  is  as  poor  as 
I  am,  and  that's  poor  enough  I'm  sure.  H'm  !  Why  is  it  that 
a  pretty  face  and  poverty  generally  go  together  ?  Well,  I'll  call 
Sunflower  and  see  how  matters  have  been  going  in  my  absence. 
[Calls.)     Sunflower,  come  in  here. 

Enter  SUNFLOWER,  r. 

Sun.     What's  wantin',  sah  .? 

Hard.  1  suppose  you  have  had  several  callers  since  I  have 
been  away. 

Sun.     Yes,  sah,  had  two  tree  mos'  ebbery  day. 

Hard.  And  what  did  they  say  when  you  informed  them 
that  I  was  out  ? 

Sun.     Well,  dey  said  dat  dey  guessed  dey  was  out  too. 

Hard.  I  suppose  Shears,  the  tailor,  has  been  here  after  his 
bill. 

Sun.     Oh,  yes  ;  sebberal  times,  sah. 

Hard.  What  did  he  say  when  you  told  him  that  the  last 
coat  he  made  me  was  too  short  ? 

Sun.  Well,  sah,  he  'lowed  dat  it  would  be  long  enough 
afore  he  got  his  pay  for  it. 

Hard.  Old  Waxend,  the  shoemaker,  has  been  round  trying 
to  thorn  me,  hasn't  he  ? 


(V^3595S0 


H 


4  DR.     MCBEATEM. 

Sun.  Yes,  sah,  an'  he  said  dat  ef  yo'  didn't  pay  him  for  dat 
ar  pair  ob  boots  dat  he'd  lower  yo'  stand  in'  in  society. 

Hard.     How  will  he  do  that  ? 

Sun.  Well,  he  'lowed  dat  ef  he  got  a  chance  at  yo',  yo' 
wouldn't  Stan'  any  higher  dan  yo'  was  in  yo'  stockins  feet. 

Hard.  Oh  !  I  see  that  they  are  preparing  to  make  this 
town  highly  interesting  for  me.  Go  and  see  what  you  can  scare 
up  for  breakfast  and  I  will  go  to  work  on  my  next  article  for 
the  Weekly  Howler.  [Exil  Sunflower,  r. 

Tab.  {outside,  r.).  Get  out  of  the  way,  yew  black  nigger  !  I 
don't  keer  if  yer  master  is  busy.  He'll  have  more  business  on 
his  hands  when  I  get  hold  of  him,  I  reckon. 

Enter  R.,  Tabitha  and  Susan. 

Tab.  Wretch  !  Monster  !  Crocodile  !  I've  hunted  yew 
down  at  last  !  Now  I'll  teach  you  better  than  to  trifle  with  my 
tender  affections. 

Hard,  (aside).  Heavens  !  Here's  a  go  !  The  old  cat  has 
smelled  me  out,  and  I'm  in  for  some  lively  music.  (Aloud.) 
Calm  yourself,  my  dear  madam.  Pray  be  seated.  To  what 
fortunate  circumstance  do  I  owe  this  most  welcome  visit  ? 

Tab.  None  of  your  palaver,  sir.  I've  heard  too  much  of 
that  already.  This  'ere  visit  means  business.  You  stole  my 
young  and  fluttering  heart  and  then  basely  deserted  me  ;  but  I 
don't  mean  tew  let  this  chance  slip  through  my  fingers.  I'm  a 
business  young  woman,  I  am,  and  I've  got  a  minister  and  a 
lawyer  in  my  carriage  down  to  the  door.  It's  either  one  or  the 
other  for  you  to  deal  with  now,  young  man  ;  so  take  your 
choice. 

Hard,  {aside).  There  is  but  one  way  of  escape  and  I'll  take 
it.  (Aloud.)  Dear  Tabby,  who  could  resist  thy  gentle  smile  ! 
Bring  on  your  minister  and  we  will  be  made  one.  (Ha7id  to 
head.)  Ha  !  how  the  room  whirls  round  !  I  fear  I  must  have 
caught  the  fever  from  the  next  door  lodger  !  Oh,  I  am  burning 
up!  Dearest,  farewell  forever  !  Ha!  my  brain  is  on  fire  !  Roll 
that  wheel  !     We  are  the  people,  and  must  be  heard  ! 

^Staggers  round ;  falls  on   lounge ;  groans,  Jioivls  and 
kicks.      Great  confttsion.     SuSAN  wrings  her  hands. 

Tab.     Water  !     Water,  quick  ! 

Enter  Sunflower,  r.  He  catches  up  water  and  tJirows  so?ne 
on  to  her.  She  chases  Jiini  around  stage,  beating  hi?n  over 
the  head  with  her  parasol. 

SCENE   \\.—A  street. 
Enter  Dennis,  r. 
Den.     Arrah,  now,   yez    thafe    av  ther    wurruld.     Yez   jisht 


DR.     MCBEATEM. 


come  out  here  an'Oi'll  be  after  tachin'yez  betther  manners  than 
ter  be  sliowin'  a  gintleman  the  dure  wid  ther  toe  av  yer  bute  ! 
Sure  an'  it's  ther  third  toime  Oi've  had  ther  same  thing  happen 
ter  me  widin  a  wake.  Bedad,  Oi  begin  ter  belave  ther  paypul 
av  this  town  are  harborin'  a  resintmint  agin  me  humble  silf. 
Oi  saw  an  advertoisement  in  the  paypur  that  an  ould  leddy 
wanted  a  companion  ter  rade  the  books  an'  paypurs  til  her, 
and  made  bowld  ter  answer  ther  same  in  person,  wid  ther 
result  afore  mintioned.  Shure  this  is  a  cruel  wurruld,  so  it  is. 
{Feels  in  pockets.)  Divil  a  cint  have  Oi  at  all  at  all.  Bedad, 
Oi'll  hev  ter  spind  ther  night  at  the  Peeler's  Hotel.  Well,  that's 
not  ther  worsht  place  in  the  wurruld.  It's  thrue  that  they  feed 
their  cushtomers  on  cold  nothin',  but  then  yez  nivir  hear  of  any 
av  thini  bein'  robbed,  and  the  nixt  marnin'  mosht  av  thim  git 
three  months  more  thin  they  asked  for.  {Song  may  be  inlj^o- 
duced ;  at  close,  starts  to  go  L.,  7'nns  into  Sunflower,  luJio 
enters  in  great  haste.)  Take  care  there,  naygur,  don't  yez 
know  any  betther  thin  ter  be  thrying  ter  huzzle  wan  av  ther 
aldermen  av  ther  city  off  ther  sidewalk  ? 

Sun.  Beg  pardon,  boss,  but  I'se  in  a  druffle  hurry.  I'se 
after  de  doctor  ter  see  my  massa.     Got  ter  git  one  right  squar  off. 

Den,  {as sinning  grand  air).  Sake  no  furder,  me  frind. 
Wan  av  ther  fursht  physicians  in  ther  city  now  stands  before 
yez. 

Sun.     Sho  1      Am  dat  so  ?     Whar's  yo'  office  ? 

Den.  Down  strate.  Ther  same  number  as  ther  pcrlice 
station.     Where  am  I  wanted  now  ? 

Sun.  Come  on.  I'll  show  yo'  de  way.  My  boss  am  took 
sudden  wid  sumfin'  awful.  Golly,  yer  ought  ter  see  him.  Jes 
howls  an'  kicks  all  de  time. 

Den.  Kicks,  does  he  ?  {Aside.)  Tin  ter  one  he  kicks  me 
out  dures  in  half  a  minute.  {Aloud.)  Lade  on,  naygur,  ther 
light  av  science  is  now  about  to  be  turned  on  yez  mashter. 

\Exeunt  L.      Scene  draivs  off. 

SCENE  \\\.—Sa7ne  as  Scene  I.  HarDUP  on  sofa,  groaning 
and  waving  his  arms  around ;  SuSAN  leaning  over  him 
smoothing  his  hair;  Tabitha  seated  in  chair  R. 

Tab.  Don't  make  so  much  fuss  over  him,  Susan.  Any  one 
can  see  that  you  are  dead  in  love  with  him  ;  but  he  don't  care 
the  snap  of  his  finger  for  yew. 

SUS.  Perhaps  you  know  more  about  that  than  I  do.  Any 
way  he  didn't  seem  to  be  overjoyed  at  the  prospect  of  marrying 
you,  for  it  has  thrown  him  into  a  tit. 

Tab.  Humph !  Some  folks  give  themselves  great  airs  for 
poor  relations.  You'll  find  it's  a  long  lane  that  don't  turn,  Miss 
Susan.     Now,  mind  what  I  tell  ye. 


n  DR.     MCBEATEM. 

Sus.  I'm  poor  enough,  g-oodness  knows,  but  I  haven't  had 
to  chase  round  all  over  the  country  to  try  and  find  a  hus- 
band. 

Tab.  No,  the  fools  of  men  run  after  you,  because  they  are 
amused  by  your  simplicity,  but  when  they  find  that  you  are 
poorer  than  Job's  turkey,  they  soon  get  sick  of  their  bargain,  I 
reckon.  ^ 

Sus.  Why  not  give  me  enough  for  a  marriage  portion  ? 
Then  some  one  will  take  me  off  your  hands. 

Tab.  Because  I  don't  consider  you  old  enough  to  get  mar- 
ried yet.  Mere  chits  of  girls  like  you  are  not  ot  sufficient  age 
to  know  their  own  minds. 

Sus.  Indeed  !  That  cannot  be  the  reason  w'hy  you  don't 
know  yours. 

Tab.      What  do  you  mean,  you  sassy  minx  ? 

Sus.  Why,  you  see.  Aunt  Tabby,  you've  tried  to  get 
engaged  to  ten  men  during  the  last  six  months.  Now  you 
surely  couldn't  have  been  in  love  with  them  all. 

Tab.  Ah,  yew  little  know  the  all-embracing  power  of  true 
love  I 

Sus.  I  don't  want  to,  if  I've  got  to  run  after  every  man  I 
see. 

Tab.  Yew  act  silly  enough  after  this  one,  anyhow.  But 
yew  shan't  have  him,  Miss  Upstart.  He'll  marry  me  or  go  to 
jail. 

Sus.  How^  can  you  talk  so,  when  he  may  be  lying  at  the 
point  of  death.  (Hardup  groans.)  Dear  Henry,  don't  you 
feel  better  now  } 

\More  groans ;  he  kicks  and  threshes. 

Tab.  What  a  fool  I  was  to  let  the  minister  go  home.  He 
might  have  married  us  anyway,  and  now  death  may  rob  me  of 
my  prey — I  mean  my  husband. 

Enter  SUNFLOWER,  ^.,  followed  by  Dennis. 

Sun.      Heah  comes  de  doctah  man. 
Den.     Yer  mosht  obejient  sarvant,  ladies. 

^Business ;    makes  great  show  ;    takes  off  glo7>es    very 
slowly  ;  gloves  are  full  of  holes.      Then  he  advances  in 
mock  dignified  way  to  lounge. 
Sus.     Oh,  Doctor,  tell  us  what  is  the  matter  with  him. 

I  Dennis  sits  ;  feels  Y{art>\j?'?>  pulse  ;  drops 
his  jaw;  opens  eyes  very  wide. 
Den.  (/(?  Hardup).  Put  out  yer  tongue — put  out  yer  tongue, 
Oi  say.  (Shaking  him.)  Put  out  yer  tongue,  ye  divil,  afore  Oi 
choke  yez.  (Hardup  puts  out  his  tongue.)  Howly  Moses  ! 
The  lasht  man  Oi  had  wid  a  tong-ue  loike  that  didn't  live  a 
wake. 


DR.     MCBEATEM, 


Tab.     If  you  understand  his  case  I  want  you  to  describe  it. 

Den.  Describe  it,  is  it  .''  Sure,  while  Oi'm  describin'  ther 
case  he  may  be  afther  kickin'  ther  bucket.  But  ter  jesht  give 
yez  a  little  idea  of  phat  ails  him,  Oi'll  say  that  the  right  oblon- 
gated  has  got  tangled  up  wid  the  left  bicupid  diaphragm,  there- 
by causing  a  stoppage  of  the  sub-frontal  eye-winker,  together 
with  the  entire  dlscombobilation  of  the  back  action  jaw  smacker, 
an'  it's  mighty  doubtful  if  Oi  kin  make  him  a  well  man  afore  a 
month.  [Looks  very  wise. 

Sus.     Oh,  dear,  I'm  afraid  he's  going  to  die  ! 

Den.  Niver  fear,  mum,  Oi'll  kape  him  alive  as  long  as  the 
money  lashts. 

Tab.  Under  what  system  do  you  propose  to  treat  him, 
sir  ? 

Den.     Under  the  human  system,  begorrah. 

Sus.     I  insist  that  he  be  treated   by  a  homeopath. 

Den.  All  right.  Naygur,  bring  me  a  pinch  av  salt  an' a  tub 
of  wather. 

Tab.     And  /say  he  shall  be  treated  by  an  allopath. 

Den.     Then  bring  me  a  tub  av  salt  an'  a  pinch  of  wather. 

Sus.  and  Tab.      W^e  won't  have  any  such  doctoring  ! 

Den.  All  right,  ladies.  Since  yez  cannot  agree,  Oi'll  jisht 
interjuce  me  own  tratemint,  which  consists  in  the  noble  science 
of  mesmerism.  {Rolls  7ip  sleeves  and  coiiiDiences  to  make 
passes.)  Begorries,  Oi  feel  the  power  comin'  on  now.  [Doiibles 
up  Sunflower,  who  h appeals  to  get  7iear,  by  smack  in  the 
stomach.)     Luk  out  naygur.     It's  powerful  stuff. 

Sun.     I  beliebe  yer. 

[Dennis,  business  ad  lib.,  with  Hardup. 
Gets  him  to  stand  up,  dance,  etc. 

Tab.  Oh,  Doctor,  what  a  powerful  mind  you  must  have  to 
do  such  things.  You  are  just  the  kind  of  a  man  that  a  simple, 
trusting  maiden  like  myself  can  lean  on  with  entire  confidence. 

[Leans  on  his  shoulder. 

Den.  Begorries,  Oi'd  much  ruther  ye'd  lane  yer  confidence 
on  me  an'  yer  weight  on  an  aisy-chair. 

[Shakes  her  off;  she  goes  Mp. 

Sus.  {coming  forward  and  giving  her  hand).  Accept  my 
gratitude  and  thanks.     You  have  saved  him. 

Den.  Don't  mintion  it,  me  dear  young  leddy.  It's  nothin' 
to  what  Oi'm  doin'  iviry  day  av  me  loife.  (SuSAN  goes  up. 
Aside.)  Shure,  she's  as  swate  as  ther  dew  on  ou!d  Ireland's 
shamrock.  I^KKQ^JV  groans.)  Oi'll  hev  ter  lave  a  prescription, 
so  Oi  will.  {Takes  paper  a7id  writes ;  reads  aloud  as  he  writes.) 
"  One  pound  of  shingle  nails  and  a  quart  of  toothpicks.  Half- 
a-dozen  lemons  and  five  boxes  of  Herrick's  pills.  One  pound  of 
alum  and  a  quart  of  castor  oil."     (Folds.)     Here,  naygur,  take 


8  .  DR.     MCBEATEM. 

this  to  the  drug   store — quick.     Shure,  that's   the   first   doctor's 
prescription  that  any  man  could  rade. 

[Exit  Sunflower  ivifh  prcscripiion.     Hardup  co/nnicnces 
to  g7'oan  and  kick  worse  t/ian  ever. 

SUS.  Oh,  dear,  he's  growing  worse,  and  I'm  afraid  he's 
poisoned  himself.  He  said  he  would  before  he'd  marry  Aunt 
Tabby. 

Den.  Pizined,  is  it?  Shure,  phy  didn't  yez  say  that  wurrud 
before.     Where's  me  tools  .? 

\Riishes  round  and  off  ^.\  returns  with 
hammer  a)id  hand-saw. 

Tab.     What  are  you  going  to  do  now  ? 

Den.  Do,  is  it  .''  Phy  cut  him  open  ter  git  at  ther  pizen,  av 
coorse.  Yez  had  betther  git  out  of  this  afore  the  blud  begins 
ter  run. 

Tab.  Oh,  dear,  Susan,  come  quick,  I'm- going  to  faint.  Oh, 
he'll  die,  I  know  he'll  die,  and  another  chance  gone  forever. 

[Exeunt  r.      Dennis  approaches  lounge  with  tools. 

Hard,  {suddenly  sitting  up).  Look  here,  sir,  what  in  time 
are  you  about  ? 

Den.     About  five  fate  six.      How  much  are  ye  ? 

Hard.     See  here,   now,  I  ain't  sick. 

Den.     Begobs,  Oi'll   mate  yez  halfway — I'm  no  doctor. 

Hard.     No  doctor  !      Then  what  are  you  ? 

Den.    {straigJitening  up).     A  soldier  of  fortune,  bejabers. 

Hard.  A  soldier  of  fortune  !  Then  you  wouldn't  object  to 
making  a  fortune,  I  suppose. 

Den.  Av  ye've  any  doubts  on  that  subject,  show  me  a 
chance  an'  say  me  jump  fur  it. 

Hard.  I'm  in  a  bad  fix,  and  if  you'll  help  me  out  you  can 
earn  my  gratitude  and  make  a  fortune  besides.  That  old  tabby 
cat  in  there  fancies  herself  in  love  with  me,  and  was  going  to 
sue  me  for  breach  of  promise  ;  so  1  had  to  play  sick  to  get  rid 
of  her.     Understand  t 

Den.     Yes,  an'  I  kim  along  jisht  in  sayson  to  save  yer  loife. 

Hard.  Now,  I've  a  scheme  to  get  rid  of  her  for  good.  That 
is  to  find  some  one  who  will  marry  her  for  her  money.  I  want 
you  to  consent  to  be  the  victim. 

Den.     Howly  Moses  !     Oi'm  in  a  shcrape  now  ! 

Hard.  I  know  she's  old  and  ugly,  but  then  she's  got  fifty 
thousand  dollars. 

Den.  Fifty  thousand  dollars  !  Begorries  der  yer  moind 
that  ?  Five  hundred  thousand  drinks  I  Lade  on,  man.  The 
older  she  is,  the  sooner  she'll  lave  me  a  widdy. 

Hard.     Very  well,  then.     Now  prepare  for  a  conquest. 

I  Exit  r. 

Den.     Sure  Oi'm  in  luck  this  toime.     Fifty  thousand  shiners 


DR.     MCBEATEM.  9 

right  in  me  fisht.     Oi'll  win,   sure,  for  who  cud   resist  me  gin- 
teel  appearance  ? 

Re-enter  Hardup,  Susan  and  Tabitha. 

Hard.  Yes,  ladies,  and  I  owe  my  sudden  recovery  entirely 
to  this  distinguished  gentleman  whom  1  have  discovered  to  be 
an  Irish  nobleman  in  disguise.  Miss  Tabitha  Goneby,  allow 
me  to  present  Sir  Michael  Toddyblossom  of  Knock-me-down 
Hollow — Miss  Susan  Sweetbrier — Sir  Michael   Toddyblossom. 

S^Biisiness. 

Tab.  Then  you  are  an  Irish  knight.  How  delightful  !  I 
suppose  you  have  several  ancestral  castles.  Will  you  kindly 
tell  me  the  names  of  some  of  them  ? 

Den.  Wid  playsure,  yer  leddyship,  there's  Fore-castle,  Cas- 
tle Garden  an — an — Casibianicca,  begorries. 

S^They  sit ;  Hardup  and  SuSAN  off  L.  conversing. 

Tab.     I  suppose  you  often  went  to  court. 

Den.  Och,  yis,  yis,  yer  leddyship,  Oi  wint  ter  court  wid  Tim 
Finnegan's  daughter  sivin  toimes  a  wake. 

Tab.     Can  you  tell  me  some  of  your  early  recollections  ? 

Den.  Will,  the  first  thing  Oi  remimber  was  havin'  a  foight 
wid  ther  pig  ter  say  who  should  slape  in  the  bid. 

Tab.  1  suppose  you  gentlemen  of  the  nobility  often  attended 
places  of  amusement. 

Den.  Sure  we  did  that.  There  was  a  wake  or  a  fray 
foight  goin'  on  mosht  iviry  noight. 

Tab.     Did  you  attend  the  races  ? 

Den.  Indade,  yis.  I  atlmded  a  race  the  lasht  day  I  was  in 
the  ould  country. 

Tab.     What  kind  of  a  race  was  it  ? 

JDe^.     a  human  race,  begorries. 

Tab.     a  human  race  ! 

Den.  Yis  ;  me  on  wan  side  and  a  big  peeler  on  the  other.  I 
bate  him  by  jesht  a  foot,  an  left  me  coat-tails  in  his  fisht. 

Tab.  I  suppose  you  are  familiar  with  the  poets.  Is  Tenny- 
son one  of  your  favorites  ? 

Den.  Will  Oi  never  thought  much  of  his  son,  but  Oi  used 
to  be  did  in  love  wid  his  daughter. 

Tab.  Then  I  judge  that  you  think  the  ladies  of  Ireland  more 
charming  than  those  of  this  country. 

Den.  Och,  no,  no,  yer  leddyship.  I've  mit  ladies  in 
this  countrv  that  had  fiftv  thousand  more  charms  than  they 
hid. 

Tab.     Ah,  I'm  afraid  you're  a  sad  flatterer. 

Den.  Flattery,  is  it  ?  Divil  a  bit.  Och,  yer  leddyship,  Oi 
must  tell  yez  how  Oi  fale.  I  knew  the  fusht  minnit  Oi  set  eyes 
on  yez  that  yez  were  the  woman   fur  my  money — Oi   mane  that 


lO  DR.     MCBEATEM. 

Oi  was  the  man  fur  your  money — excuse  this  emotion,  meleddy, 
but  my  heart  is  too  full  to  spake.  Wid  fifty  thousand  emotions 
throbbin'  through  me  breast  Oi  kin  only  knale  at  yez  feet  and 
say    {kneels) — yez  money  or  yez  life  ! 

Tab.  Your  embarrassment  is  excusable.  Though  your 
language  is  not  quite  clear,  I  understand  that  you  make  me 
an  offer  of    marriage. 

Den.   {Ihey  rise).     Thai's  jist  phat  Oi  mane. 

Tab.  Oh,  Sir  Michael,  are  you  sure  you  love  me  for  myself 
alone,  and  not  for  my  money  ? 

Den.  Sure,  if  yez  have  any  doubts  about  it  jisht  lind  me  tin 
dollars  and  say  whethej"  Oi'll  iver  mintion  it  agin. 

Tab.  My  young  and  trusting  heart  can  no  longer  withstand 
your  advances.  Ah,  my  dear  Sir  Michael,  I  am  yours  till 
death. 

Den,   {aside).     Sure  Oi  wonder  how  long  that  will  be. 

Ejiter  Hardup  and  Susan,  l. 

Hard.  Well,  Miss  Goneby,  you  and  Sir  Michael  seem  to  be 
getting  on  swimmingly. 

Tab.  {with  dignity).  Sir  Michael  has  done  me  the  honor  to 
offer  his, heart  and  hand  which  I  have  accepted.  He  seems  to 
have  more  appreciation  for  the  affections  of  a  true-hearted 
woman  than  some  people  I  know  of. 

Hard.  Indeed  !  Then  I  presume  you  will  no  longer  think 
of  taking  the  law  upon  me. 

Tab.     I  shall  not. 

Hard.      And  you  will  consent  to  my  marriage  with  Susan  .'* 

Tab.  T  will  ;  and  as  I  perceive  that  Sir  Michael  is  a  man  of 
plain  tastes  I  shall  make  over  the  bulk  of  my  properly  to  her, 
as  the  land  knows  you  ain't  smart  enough  to  get  a  living. 

Den,  {overcome).  Howly  murther  !  Did  yez  iver  hear  the 
loike  av  that  !  Ohone,  ohone  !  That  Oi  shud  live  to^i-be  chated 
loike  that.     • 

Hard.  Never  mind,  Sir  Michael.  Your  lovely  wife  will 
make  your  pathway  bright  and  if  you  should  get  hard  up  you 
can  turn  doctor  again. 

Tab.  Dear,  Sir  Michael.  Shall  we  not  soon  depart  for  our 
ancestral  castles  ? 

Den.  Begorries,  Oi'd  be  glad  to  if  some  one  wud  lend  me  a 
balloon. 

Tab.     What  on  earth  do  you  want  of  a  balloon  ? 

Hard.     Why,  he  means  that  his  castles  are  all  in  the  air. 

Tab.     Oh,  you  lying  wretcji  ! 

Enter  Sunflower,  r.,  710 se  bloody,  clothes  torn. 
Sun.     Golly  !  I  beliebe  yo.     Say,  you   doctor  man,   de   nex 


DR.     MCBEATEM. 


II 


time  yo  wants  anyting  down  to  de  drug  store  yo  git  him  yo- 
self,  will  yo  ? 

Den.     Begorries,  phat's  der  matter  wid  you  ? 

Sun.  Why,  yo  see,  I  done  showed  dat  yere  piece  ob  paper 
to  de  man  what  keeps  de  drug  store,  and  he  got  mad  and  said 
I  'suited  him,  and  I  tole  him  he's  anudder,  an  den  he  tried  to 
mop  de  floor  wif  me — dat's  all.  I  say — you's  a  big  fraud^you 
is. 


SLOW   CURTAIN. 


A  /UM^iU^d 


l/^.^:iL:^  A 


n  4i 

i    h     ' 


'kAM'^ 


^,„-~'-«^ 


/^'  7  ^H^^9<.'y 


yy^l/h?^ 


I 


'     NEini    RL75VS     F=-OR    GIRLS. 

THE  MAN  IN  THE  CASE 

A  Comedy  in  Three  Acts. 
By  WINTHROP   PACKARD. 


Six  female  characters.  Costumes,  motlern  ;  scenes,  two  interiors.  Another 
good  answer  to  the  old  question,  "  How  can  we  get  up  a  play  without  any  men?" 
This  piece  provides  a  story  of  considerable  interest  and  dramatic  strength,  and 
even  a  mild  love-interest,  without  the  employment  of  any  male  characters.  Its 
humor  is  refined, 'its  dialogue  bright,  and  its  plot  absolutely  new  and  unlike 
other  pieces  of  this  sort.  Written  for  and  originahy  produced  by  the  Emmanuel 
Club,  of  Radcliffe  College,  it  is  naturally  well  suited  for  performance  in  similar 
institutions.  Madame  Bogusky,  an  esoteric  Buddhist,  Alice  Roquet,  a  transla- 
tion into  the  French,  and  Gladys,  a  Radclilfe  Senior,  are  excellent  parts. 

Price        ....        85  cents. 

Synopsis. 

Act  I. — Aline,  the  French-Irish  maid.  A  new  phrase  —  "wirrasthrue  !  " 
The  love-lorn  maid.  "Her  Jack."  Consulting  the  Mahatmas.  Two  Radcliffe 
seniors.  Common  sense  vs.  Theosophy.  A  girl's  remedy.  Madame  Bogusk> 
and  the  cosmic  cycles.     Another  Jack.      •'  Everybody's  Jack."     Jacks  ake 

TRU3IPS. 

Act  II.  — The  ladies' department.  A  messenger  from  India.  More  about 
Jack.  Going  to  Harvard.  Cap  and  gown.  "The  ghost-letter."  A  great  (astral) 
light  breaks  upon  Mrs.  Montressor.  Following  suit.  "  Thim  fancy  shrouds." 
Jacks  are  Trumped. 

Act  III.  — Radcliffe  dormitory.  A  college  girl's  room.  A  strange  man. 
Aline's  arrival  The  power  of  the  INIahatmas.  An  elopement.  "  A  pad  for 
red  ink."  Fumigation.  Ominous  "signs."  The  search.  "The  real  Mr.  Wil- 
liams."   Explanations,    Jack  takes  the  Trick. 


COUSIN   FRANK. 

A  Farce  in  One  Act. 
By  FRANCES  AYHAR  MATHEWS, 

Author  of  "A  Finished  Coquette,"  "  WooinCt  a  Widow,"  etc. 

Five  female  characters.  Costumes,  Tuodern  ;  scene,  an  easy  interior,  or 
none  at  all.  A  briglit  little  piece,  treating  the  old  problem  of  "  An  Adamless 
Eden"  in  a  new  way.  It  has  an  entertaining  story  and  bright  and  vivacious 
dialogue,  which  cannot  fail  to  give  twenty  minutes  of  pleasure  in  parlor  or  hall. 

Price       ....       15  cents. 


THE  WIDOW  nULLIN'S 
CHRISTMAS. 

A  PLAY  FOR  CHILDREN  IN  THREE  ACTS. 
By  STANLEY   YALE   BEACH  and   H.  ARTHUR  POWELL. 

Two  male,  one  female  character  (adults),  and  thirteeu  children  (from  six  i  o  six- 
teen years  old).  Au  ingenious  va,riar,ian  of  the  conventional  8anta  Clans  thenu;, 
introdU' ing  an  admirable  programme  of  songs  and  reel! atiotis  for  chidren.  A 
capital  entertainment  woich  has  b^eii  given  by  the  amhors  with  great  succees 
It  will  amuse  both  young  and  old,  and  will  well  repay  those  ■■  ho  produce  it  for 
their  trouble  in  drilling  thQ  children.  Plays  over  an  hour,  the  exact  time  de- 
pending upon  the  number  of  recitations  introduced. 

Price, 15  Cents. 


SYNOPSIS. 

ACT  I.— In  the  brother's  study.  Prof.  Molecules  and  the  bicycle.  '*  The 
Sunny  Hour."  The  birth  of  an  idea.  The  Widow  Mullin  and  her  thirteeu 
children.  An  extemporaneous  Santa  Claus.  The  loaded  quarter.  ••Tails, 
1  Win."    Laying  the  pipes. 

ACT  II.  —  The  Muilins  at  home.  A  spelling  lesson.  Peter  the  pig.  Around 
robin.  Dick  and  the  eggs.  The  whistles.  A  dress  rehearsal.  Peter's  piece. 
•*  Three  little  Mullin  girls."  Off  to  school.  The  Widow's  soliloquy.  A  prayer 
answered. 

ACT  III.— Christmas  eve.  Peter  and  the  pop-corn.  Bedtime.  The  story  of 
Santa  Claus.  H^^nging  up  the  stockings.  Peter  hangs  up  his  pants.  Recita- 
tions. The  lullaby.  The  arrival  of  Santa  Claus.  The  discovery.  Opening  the 
pack.    Something  for  all.    "A  Merry,  Merry  Christmas." 


DIALOGUES  FOR  CHRISTMAS. 

By  riARQARET  HOLHES. 

Thi.^  book  contains  a  short  play— "The  Delayed  Letter"  —  and  about  forty 
<liaijgU''S  written  expressly  for  use  in  Christinas  entertainments,  and  suitable 
lor  private    epresentation  or  for  celebrations  in  Schools  and  Churches. 

Price 25  Cents. 


RECITATIONS  m  CHRISTMAS. 

S  xty  choice  eelections  from  the  best  writers,  suitable  for  use  in  Cliristinas 
entertauim'-nts  m  church  and  school.  Among  the  luithors  represented  are 
Dicknn-,  .Aldr  cb,  Howells.  Lew  Wallace,  li.  H.  Stoddard,  -fohn  Boyle  0'R<'illy, 
Herrick.  CnlnrideH.  Gfo.  W.  Curtis,  Margaret  Holmes,  Thomas  Nelson  Page, 
Julia  Goddard,  Plurbe  Cary,  and  T'^omas  Hood. 

Price     ...•••.        25  Cents. 


NEW  ENTERTAINMENTS. 


BLIGHTED   BUD5. 

A.    Karce    in    One    Act. 

By  JULIA  DE  W.  ADDISON, 

Author  of  "  A  False  Note,"  "Under  'X  Spell,"  Etc. 

Four  male  and  four  female  cli;uacters.  Costumes,  modern  ;  scene,  a  garden, 
An  excellent  farce  of  the  more  rcrtned  type,  full  of  fun,  but  never  broad  or 
boisterous  in  its  humor.  John  Smith,  an  enterprising  drummer,  Prof.  Palman, 
a  timid  scientist,  Pat  and  Katy,  Irish  servants,  and  Drusilla  Durham,  a  seuti^ 
meutal  spiuster,  are  all  capital  parts.  Strongly  recommended. 
Price       .        .        .        .        15  cents. 


The  Grand   Baby  Show. 

An     E^NXERXAINNIENT     KOR     LiXTLE     Koi^KS. 

"WRITTEX  AND  ORIGINALLY   PRODUCED  BY  THE 

SISTERS  OF  MERCY, 

MKRIDEX,   CONN. 

For  one  boy  and  from  ten  to  twenty-five  little  girls.  This  is  a  platform  enter- 
tainment, no  scenery  being  necessary,  and  the  costumes  are  very  easily  arranged. 
The  idea  and  action  of  the  piece  ai-e  sufficiently  indicated  by  its  title.  It  was 
highly  successful  in  its  original  performance  by  the  Sisters  of  Mercy,  Meriden, 
Conn.,  and  is  recommended  ou  this  ground  as  well  as  for  the  novelty  of  the  idea. 
It  is  presented  partly  in  dialogue,  but  largely  in  choruses,  and  the  original  music, 
complete,  accompanies  the  songs.  A  very  pretty  march  is  an  etiective  incident 
of  the  piece.    An  excellent  children's  entertainment. 

Price        .        .        .        .        15  cents. 


The  New  Woman. 

A   Karcical   Skietch, 
With  One  Act,  One  Scene  and  One  Purpose. 
By  GEORGE  RUQG. 

One  male  and  three  female  characters.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenery,  very 
simple.  This  is  a  bright  and  up-to-date  little  skit  upon  a  very  old  subject  that 
iiever  ceases  to  be  entertainiiitr.  "The  New  Woman"  is  put  through  a  few 
modern  paces  with  amusing  results.    P'\y'  ^jaly  fifteen  minutes. 

Pr;  15  cents. 


NEW    PLAY5. 


OUR   JIM. 

A   COMEDY   IN    FOUR   ACTS. 
By  Egbert  w.  fowler. 

Author  of  "  A  Matrimonial  Advertisement." 

Seven  male,  four  female  characters.  Costumes,  modern  and  military;  scenery, 
not  difticiut.  Another  of  tlie  popular  class  of  strictly  American  comedy-dramas 
of  which  Mr.  James  A.  Hearne's  '*  Sliore  Acres  "  is  an  admirable  type.  Especially 
strong  in  its  fidelity  to  rustic  life  and  character,  but  of  commanding  melodramatic 
interest.  Its  humor  is  good  and  abundant,  its  sentiment  wholesome,  and  its  tone 
unexceptionable.  It  is  printed  from  an  acting  copy,  and  possesses  the  terseness 
and  vigor  in  performance  that  are  bound  to  characterize  a  working  manuscript. 
Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 

Price,        ....        c        15  Cents. 


SYNOPSIS. 

ACT  I.  "  My  Country, 'tis  of  thee."  Hunting  eggs,  Asad  pickle.  The  dance 
in  the  old  barn.  Tlie  donation.  Tiie  Deticon's  speech.  Jim  and  Grace.  A  posi- 
tion of  trust.  The  wayward  son.  The  robbery.  The  innocent  victim.  "Give 
me  until  to-morrow  —  for  her  sake."    A  reprieve. 

ACT  II.  "The  Girl  I  left  behind  me."  Making  butter  and  making  love. 
Bob  and  Bess.  High  kicking.  "  A  new  exercise  iu  the  public  schools."  The 
Major  and  the  Mex  can  Avar.  A  confession.  '•  Father,  you  do  not  doubt  me  !  " 
Tlie  accusation.  Uncle  John's  sacrifice.  The  passing  regiment.  "  God  bring 
you  back  to  us  when  your  duty  is  done."    Off  TO  the  war. 

ACT  III.  *' From  Atlanta  to  the  Sea."  Debby  and  the  Major.  Personalities. 
Letters  from  the  front.  "  Our  Jim  a  Captain  !  "  The  birthday  party.  A  thunder- 
bolt.   "  Mortally  wounded."    Thk  hittkrxrss  of  death. 

ACT  IV.  "When  Johnny  comes  marching  Home."  Hope  deferred.  Bad 
news.  The  invalid.  "She  must  not  know."  Deacon  Tidd  and  the  mortgage. 
"One,  two,  three,  git!"  The  Major  to  the  rescue.  A  disappointed  old  maid. 
The  newspaper.  The  dark  hour  before  the  dawn.  The  dead  alive.  A  prodigal 
son.    The  empty  sleeve. 


THE  MAN  WHO   WENT 
TO    EUROPE. 

A    COMEDIETTA    IN    ONE    ACT. 

By   CLARA   J.   DENTON. 

Author  of  "A  Change  of  Color,"  "To  Meict  Mr.  Thompson,"  etc. 

Throe  male,  two  female  characters,  and  a  small  boy.     A  good-natured  hit  at  a 
very  common  human  weakness  :  very  slight,  but  amusing.    Playstifteen  minutes. 

Price, 15  Cents. 


A  NEW  CUBAN  PLAY. 


THE  ROUGH  RIDER. 

A  Drama  in  Four  Acts. 

By  BERNARD  F.  nOORE. 

Seven  male,  two  female  characters.  Costumes  modern  and  military;  sce- 
nery easy  but  effective.  This  piece,  reflecting  as  it  does  the  current  patriotic 
sentiment  and  dealing  with  the  scenes  and  incidents  of  the  late  war,  is  likely  to 
be  very  popular  with  amateur  clubs  thisseason.  The  attempt  has  been  made  in 
it  to  construct  an  effective  play,  providing  stirring  pictures  and  situatioup,  in- 
spiring patriotic  sentiment,  and  recalling  familiar  incidents  of  the  war,  without 
the  use  of  supernumeraries  or  the  need  of  elaborate  scenery  or  properties. 
Better  plays,  no  doubt,  can  be  written,  but  better  plays  for  the  use  of  amateurs, 
bearing  in  mind  their  artistic  limitations  and  the  diflBculties  offered  by  elaborate 
scenery  and  groupings,  are  not  often  to  be  had.  A  small  cast,  strongly  marked 
characters,  Negro  and  Irish  comedv  parts,  rapid  movement  and  strong  lines 
unite  to  recommend  this  piece,  which  plays  about  two  hours. 

Price 15  Cents. 


SYNOPSIS. 

ACT  I.— War  clouds.  The  new  overseer.  Father  and  son.  The  blowing- 
Up  of  the  "Maine."  A  glimpse  into  tlie  past.  A  scheme  of  revenge.  An  Irish- 
man's courtship.  Nigger  i-.s.  Irish.  A  serious  question.  A  declaration  of  love 
and  another  of  war.  The  call  for  volunteers.  "Take  that,  you  Spanish  dog!" 
The  first  blow  for  the  freedom  of  Cuba. 

ACT  II. —  Sergeant  Kaiferty.  The  Hough  Riders.  Alma  in  danger.  The 
Cuban  spy.  A  letter.  Sam  and  Dennis.  "Chickens,  or  I'm  a  liar!"  A  meet- 
ing. News  from  Manila.  Traitors  in  camp.  Danger.  The  poisoned  water. 
Tbeabduc  ion.     "  We'll  save  him  or  die  in  the  attempt!" 

ACT  III.  — In  a  Spanish  prison.  Ablackangel.  Explanations.  Planning 
an  escape.  The  villain  shows  his  hand.  A  forced  marriage.  "Remember!  a 
Spaniard  never  forgets."  The  Cuban  spy  again.  The  bombardment  of  Santiago, 
Laying  low.  The  marriage  ceremony.  The  tables  turned.  "  There's  one  blow 
for  the  Stars  and  Stripes."     The  fall  of  Santiago. 

ACT  IV.— Peace  once  more.  A  mysterious  stranger.  Suspicions.  The 
Spanish  kidnapper.  Seiior  Pslferty's  proposal.  A  colored  "best  man."  The 
broken  dishes.  Throwing  off  the  mask.  "  I  am  no  servant."  In  the  nick  of 
time.    Rescued.    A  cowardly  trick.    "Pedro,  you  have  saved  my  life." 


AN  OPEN  SECRET. 

A  Farce  in  Two  Acts. 

FOR  FEMALE  CHARACTERS  OXLY. 

By  HARION  D.  CAflPBELL. 

As  originally  presented  by  the  Emmanuel  Club,  Radcliffe  College,  Cam- 
bridge. Ten  female  characters.  Costumes,  outing  dresses;  scene,  a  college 
room.  A  particularly  bright  and  vivacious  litole  glimpse  of  college  life,  pre- 
senting a  particularly  humorous  and  characteristic  story  with  much  vigor  ami 
skill.  A  brand  new  plot  in  a  piece  for  female  characters  only  is  something  of  a 
rarity,  but  the  author  has  hit  upon  something  absolutely  novel  in  this  piece, 
and  full  of  incidental  humor  and  interest.    Strongly  recommended. 

Price 1 5  Cents. 


Sent  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  price,  by 

BAKER,  5  HAMILTON  PLACE,  BOSTON,  MASS. 


A,  W.  PINERO'S  LATEST  PLAYS. 


The  ria^istrate. 

A    FARCE    IN   THREE   ACTS. 

Twelve  male,  four  female  characters.  Costumes,  modern;  ecenery,  all  in- 
teriors. The  merits  of  this  excellent  and  amushig  piece,  one  of  the  most  popular 
of  its  author's  plays,  are  well  attested  by  long  and  repeated  runs  in  the  principal 
American  theatres.  It  is  of  the  highest  class  of  dramatic  writing,  and  is  uproar- 
iously funny,  and  at  the  same  time  unexceptionable  intone,  I  is  entire  suitability 
for  amateur  performance  has  been  shown  by  hundreds  of  such  productions  from 
manuscript  during  the  past  three  years.    Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 

Note.  —  This  play  is  sold  for  reading  only.  The  acting  right  is  reserved,  and 
can  be  obtained  only  upon  payinent  of  an  author's  royalty  of  $10  for  each 
performance. 

Price,       .....        50  Cents. 


Dandy  Dick. 

A  FARCE  IN   THREE   ACTS. 

Seven  male,  four  female  characters.  Costumes,  modern ;  scenery,  two  ia- 
teriors.  This  very  amusing  piece  was  another  success  in  the  New  York  and 
Boston  theatres,  and  has  been  extensively  played  from  manuscript  by  amateurs, 
for  whom  it  is  in  every  respect  suited.  It  provides  an  unusual  number  of  capital 
character  parts,  is  very  funny,  and  an  excellent  acting  piece.  Plays  two  hours 
and  a  half. 

Note,  —  This  play  is  sold  for  reading  only.  The  acting  right  is  reserved,  and 
can  only  be  obtained  upon  payment  of  an  author's  royalty  of  $10  for  each 
performance. 

Price, 50  Cents. 


The  Hobby  Horse. 

A   COMEDY   IN   THREE  ACTS. 

Ten  male,  five  female  characters.  Scenery,  two  interiors  anc^  an  exterior; 
costumes,  modern.  This  piece  is  best  known  in  this  country  through  the  admir- 
able performance  of  Mr,  John  Hare,  Avho  produced  it  in  all  the  principal  cities. 
Its  story  presents  a  clever  satire  of  false  philanthropy,  and  is  full  of  interest  and 
humor.  Well  adapted  for  amateurs,  by  whom  it  has  been  successfully  acted. 
Plays  two  hours  and  a  half. 

Note.  —  This  play  is  sold  for  reading  only.  The  acting  right  is  reserved,  and 
can  only  be  obtained  upon  payment  of  an  author's  royalty  of  $10  for  each 
performance. 

PriC9,       •       .       •       •       •       50  Cents- 


NEW   PLAYS. 


The  Flying  Wedg^e. 

A   FOOTBALL   FARCE   IN    ONE   ACT. 

By  GRACE  LIVINGSTON    FURNISS. 

Author  of  "A  Box  of  Monkeys,"  "  Secoxd  Floor  Sfoopendykk,"  "The 
Corner-lot  Chorus,"  etc. 

Three  male  and  five  female  characters.  Scene,  an  interior.  Costumes,  mod- 
ern. A  bright  and  vivacious  piece  in  Miss  Furniss's  very  best  vein.  An  over- 
whelming success  in  its  original  Empire  Theatre  production,  and  a  favorite  with 
amateur  clubs  in  the  past  two  seasons,  during  which  it  has  been  offered  as  a 
manuscript  piece  under  royalty.  We  have  much  pleasure  in  offering  this  popu- 
lar farce  for  sale  as  a  book,  upon  the  ordinary  terms,  and  in  announcing  that 
after  Jan.  1, 1898,  it  may  be  played  without  payment  of  royalty.  It  is  confidently 
recommended  to  young  people  as  an  amusing,  up-to-date  piece,  full  of  fun,  and 
yet  incapable  of  giving  offence  to  the  most  scrupulous  taste.  This,  and  the  cir- 
cumstance that  it  offers  parts  for  more  ladies  than  gentlemen,  make  its  publi- 
cation an  apt  answer  to  a  very  large  and  urgent  demand  for  just  such  a  play.  It 
plays  about  forty-five  minutes. 

Price       •       ....       25  Cents. 


A  Dead  Heat. 


A   COMEDY   IN   ONE   ACT. 

Five  female  characters.  Scene,  an  interior.  Costumes,  modern.  A  capital 
little  play  for  ladies,  affording  four  well-contrasted  parts  of  nearly  equal  value 
ftnd  strength.  Described  by  a  professional  auditor  of  its  first  performance  as 
"  the  best  play  for  all  women  that  I  ever  saw."  This,  too,  was  one  of  the  nota- 
ble productions  of  the  late  Nelson  Wheatcroft,  at  his  successful  Empire  Theatre 
Dramatic  School,  New  York,  and  is  a  Avelcome  addition  to  our  large,  but  never 
large  enough,  list  of  plays  for  female  characters.  "A  Dead  Heat "  can  be  played 
after  Jan.  1,  1898,  without  payment  of  royalty. 

Price      ,       .       ,       .       .       15  Ceutf?, 


NEiflZ:     RL.HVS. 


The  Wrecker's   Daughter. 

A  Drama  in  Three  Acts. 
By  B.  F.  MOORE, 

Author  of  "  Captain  Jack,"  "The  Irish  Agent,"  etc. 

Five  male  and  two  female  characters.  Costumes,  modern  ;  scenery,  all 
interiors.  A  very  simple  and  effective  domestic  melodrama,  its  scenes  laid  on 
the  coast  of  Maine.  All  the  characters  are  good  and  all  of  nearly  equal  promi- 
nence ;  that  of  Pat  Murphy  being  a  particularly  strong  Irish  low-comedy  part. 
This  piece  is  especially  adapted  for  the  use  of  younger  amateurs  who  want 
something  strong  with  plenty  of  chance  to  act.  Situations  thrilling.  Not  a 
parlor  play  or  at  all  suited  to  people  in  search  of  a  quiet  piece. 

Price       ....        15  cents. 


Synopsis. 

Act  I.  —  The  child  of  the  wreck.  A  Pat  reply.  The  revenue  cutter.  Pat's 
sea-legs.  Essie's  secret.  "Let  her  choose  between  us."  The  detective.  "A 
piece  of  nice  fat  pork."     The  Spy !    "  Don't  move  or  I'll  fire  !  "    At  Bay. 

Act  II.  —  Bill's  visitor.  "The  only  bright  spot  in  my  life."  A  clue. 
Identified.  "  I  want  no  reward  for  doing  my  duty."  An  intruder.  Pat  and 
Lucy.  Jealousy.  The  wrecker.  "  For  the  last  time."  A  double  traitor.  The 
false  light.    Just  in  time.     Saved  ! 

Act  III, — The  trial.  Essie  decides.  "  I  will  remain  with  the  only  father 
I  have  ever  known."  The  betrayal.  Revenged.  Phil  and  Essie.  Pat's  prtK 
posal.    The  license.    "  A  quiet  little  nap,"    The  end  of  all  ! 


LOVE  IN  A  LIGHTHOUSE. 

A  Farce  in  One  Act. 
By  ROSEMARY   BAUfl, 

Author  of  •♦  THA.T  Box  of  Cigarettes." 

Three  male  and  three  female  characters.  Costumes  and  scenery  easy.  This 
is  a  very  i)retty  and  (lelicately  humorous  play  by  the  author  of  the  popular 
"  That  Box  of  Cigarettes,"  by  which  its  general  character  can  be  judged.  The 
ladies'  parts  are  especially  strong.  —  Polly,  the  "bound"  girl,  and  Mrs.  Capel 
Robinson,  a  local  Mrs.  Malaprop,  affording  excellent  comedy.  Its  story  is  very 
original  and  humorous  and  its  dialogue  particularly  good,  A  capital  play  for 
haU  ur  parlor. 

Price       •       t       •       .       15  cents. 


A  NEW  IRISH  DRAMA. 


LANTY'S    LUCK; 

Or,  FALSELY  ACCUSED. 

A  DRAMA  OF  IRISH  LIFE  IN  THREE  ACTS. 
By  F.  N.  LAWRENCE. 

Five  male,  four  female  characters.  Costumes,  modern';  scenery,  not  diffi- 
cult. This  is  a  play  perfectly  adapted  both  in  sentiment  and  in  humor  to  the 
tastes  and  capacities  of  amateur  organizations.  Lanty  McNally  is  another  o( 
those  fascinating  "  ne'er-do-wells,"  so  widely  popularized  by  the  late  Mr.  Bouci- 
cault,  who  earn  every  one's  sympathy  Avithout  always  deserving  it,  and  his 
"luck,"  Avhile  bad  enough  for  a  time  for  dramatic  purposes,  is  finally  trium, 
phant  in  a  capital  last  act.  The  cast  is  small  but  proportionately  strong  in 
its  individual  parts.  Arte  is  a  capital  soubrette  character,  Richard,  a  strong 
heavy,  and  Murty,  Pat,  and  Old  Meg,  strong  character  parts.  Its  compact  cast 
and  simplicity  in  production  fit  it  admirably  for  amateur  performance.  It  hai 
been  played  "on  the  road"  by  professionals  for  a  season  with  good  succesa 
Plays  a  full  evening. 

Price    ••••... 25  cents. 


SYNOPSIS. 

Act  I. — Winding  yarn.  The  young  widow.  The  diamond  brooch.  The  tool 
and  its  handle.  The  runaway.  Fish  stories.  The  dove  and  the  hawk.  lie- 
pulsed.  Lanty  and  the  thimble.  An  Irish  courtship.  The  stolen  kiss.  A 
pretty  plot.  The  trusted  messenger.  The  stolen  jewels.  "Thoise  diamonds 
were  mine  and  I  refuse  to  prosecute  him  ! "    Hard  Luck. 

Act  II.  — Murty  and  the  sparklers.  The  Fair  of  Dunloe.  A  social  outcast. 
Lanty's  "  widdy."  "Old  Meg.  On  the  scent  of  the  thief.  Th^  breath  of  shame. 
Lanty  as  a  detective.  Two  kinds  of  love-making.  "  Down  in  the  Well."  A 
false  friend.  "  I  don't  want  your  money  —  it  would  burn  the  skin  off  me  hands," 
Better  Luck. 

Act  III.  —  Old  Meg  again.  Lanty  on  the  trail.  Playing  the  witch.  An  un- 
fair advantage.  "  She'll  skin  me  alive  when  she  finas  <>ut  it's  me  ! "  Witchcraft. 
Murty's  secret.  A  hero  iu  petticoats.  The  devil's  tryst.  A  quarrel  among 
thieves.  "  Curse  him  !  He  has  me  in  his  power  !  "  Cornered.  Murty  and  the 
spirits.  The  Scotch  kiss.  The  jewels  found  at  last.  The  tables  turned.  Good 
for  evil.    "  I  forgive  ye  —  that  is,  for  five  minuces,"    Good  Luck. 


JUST  PUBLISHED,  in  the  Wihiam  Warren  Edition : 

SHE  STOOPS  TO  CONQUER. 

A  Comedy  in  Five  Acts  by  OLIVER  GOLDSMITH. 

Fifteen  male,  four  female  characters.  Printed  from  William  Warren's 
prompt  copy,  by  courtesy  of  Miss  Axnie  Clarke.  An  entirely  new  acting  edi- 
tion, giving  all  the  familiar  "  gags  "  and  "  business  "  never  before  printed. 

Pri<;e 15  cents. 


Se7if,  postpaid,   on  receipt  of  price,   by 

BAKER,  5  HAMILTON  PLACE,  BOSTON,  MASS. 


^  -^  -^^  -.-^  --r'  •.^'^^ 


NEW  OPERETTAS  FC 


EDITH'S  r 

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,DREN. 


;EAM 


Wor  i   by  MARGARET  FEZANDIE  and    SDGAR  MORETTI 
Music  by  EUGENE  FEZA' :13IE,  >. 


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ti'^t'./v  I'or  choiiis.     Sceiifciy  ujme(M\>j-/irv  ;   (.•<<>'.; 
easliy  arfaiigfeil  at  lioiiie.    This  fuliniraliio  liM'.' 
imisif.    Jtis  very  timet  ul  ami  {gracefully  iinaj^ri'i 
for  i»rirace  tinatri(!als  or  for  schools,    it  is  pari 
iiso.  !■>  it'deals  whiinsically  with  tiie  qutistio;- 
Luw  v',r,  au  excellent  moral. 

Price        .... 


1   .      i     ten  or  more  add 

^relty  and  laucitul,  bi 

is  printed  complete  wit 

is  stioiigly  reeommende 

vidl  suited  tor  the  latt< 

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A  Collection  of  Short  and  5vvp!c;  Musical 
fcntertainments  lor  C'fi?<^ren, 

By  MRS.  G.  N   BO-  J, 


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r-onji,   i.  quaint  ninslcal  pantomime,  a  rt-!tty  ii>i.  i--.  ^t.^r.-i,    :m<!  tvo  .^.ilViii! 
Immon  us  refutations  for  children,  fOin;.!ete,  \v 
t'ons  rcr  pertoruiant-e.    The  niu.'sic  is  ti.  leti.l h'. 

«  \  li  tii-i  tastes  and  limitations  of  rliil    -en  in  \  i  >')!  >^  -wj  e;•.^^ily  i  :■,; .. 

and  siiP'r.  and  all  the  <;hf)ruse.«  an;  wi  itten  foi  unison.     Theeollectio 

is  sti.M'iiiy  re<-.!i.ime!rded  for  its  simti'ieity  a)i('  facticahility.    Neithie 

.tt:t..r..7  oi-  scenery  is  deniinded,  nor  :•.._/  other  r  tb  th.it  cannot  l>e  mt 

witli'i    1  tiouble  by  theequjpmeut  of  the  oniin  eJu.urch  vestry, and  tL 
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Price 


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A  OH  .ipso  of  the  -Brownies.     A 

Mu  ical  Sketch  for  Childrcii.     .Any 
iiui  ibcr  of  boys. 

Mar  U  ~'t  Day.   ^^  n  Tiperetta  for  Younji 
!'■      Ic.    Seven  speaking  parts  ifii'l 


ijuf'ci    l<l..ra'.-.   Day   I>teani.     .An 

"  Opi  Tr  ttrt  for  ChiUlreu.    Six  spoak- 
jiij.;  ]■  i.rt8  and  cliorun. 


The 


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Six  . 
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rarty-      A    Music; 
Children.    Thirt 

iin<lina8.    A    MusiCi 
>r  very  Little  Cliildrej 

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A  |f  «»«»<)  fn  fJv  Moon.     A  Iweci^ 

tii>n  for     Child. 


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